Despite your best intentions and well-meaning desire to see God’s people walk in righteousness and truth, you’ve got to give up control. How do you do this? (A) Come to grips with the fact that God will indeed clean up His people. He may not do it your way and He may not do it in the timely way that you would. But you can be sure of the fact that God’s going to clean His people up.

(B) Instead of forcing your beliefs and convictions on others, pray for them and trust the Lord to deal with whatever’s wrong in their life. You see, it’s not wrong to be concerned  about  the waywardness of the brethren. It’s not wrong to confront the brethren with the things that are wrong in their lives. Brethren, whether you’re on the right side of an issue or the wrong side, you all have to understand that GOD HAS GIVEN ALL HIS PEOPLE THE LIBERTY AND RESPONSIBILITY TO TALK TO THE ERRING  AMONG  THEMSELVES AND HELP THEM GET WHAT’S WRONG, RIGHT.  See Romans 15:14, 1 Thessalonians 5:14, James 5:19-20, Jude 22-23. But loving concern for the brethren is one thing: forcing yourself upon them is another. Brethren, trust the Lord for wisdom in dealing with your brothers and sisters. Get control out of your loving concern for the brethren. Seek the Lord’s wisdom and guidance in using your loving concern to help God’s people without giving them the impression that you’re trying to control them.

(C) Lastly, remember that your job is not to make other believers look like you. Your job is for you to become like Jesus Himself. And that, dear friends, is a full-time job that doesn’t leave you any time to force people to be just like you. Friends, learn to rest in God’s love for His own.  He will mature and perfect them.  It may not be your way or time. But the work will get done. Remember that salvation is instantaneous, but maturity and perfection take a lifetime. Give God’s people time. And, with lots of prayer, faith, and love, they’ll become the kind of Christian that God wants them to become.

IDENTIFY THE CONDITIONS AND GET RID OF THEM.  Conditional love, as we’ve shown you, comes with all sorts of conditions, requirements, and expectations for God’s people to fulfill before you will love them. Identify what these conditions are. Think about them. Write them down if you have to and make yourself a list. Taking the time to do this and see these conditions face-to-face is a good way for you to come to grips with what you’re doing wrong. It helps you to remember what’s wrong. Once you’ve identified these conditions, repent to the Lord for conditionally loving the brethren. Then resolve in your heart that from now on you’re going to love your brethren without any strings attached.

LOVE AS GOD LOVES.  Lastly, to get rid of conditional love we’re going to have to determine to love people the same way God loves them. Many people think that loving as God loves is something that they’ve got to work up or try very hard to get from God.  But the truth of the matter is,  like faith, YOU ALREADY HAVE GOD’S AGÁPE LOVE IN YOU. AND LOVING THE BRETHREN IS SIMPLY A MATTER OF YOU USING THE LOVE YOU ALREADY HAVE.

Look at what John 17:26 says, I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them. Romans 5:5 goes on to say, And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

You see, brethren, you already have God’s love in you.   God’s   love is   sovereign,   self-sacrificial, unmerited, unconditional, and unending. Now take this love and begin loving God’s people the same way God loves them. God bless you and may He help us all become lovers of the brethren.

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